I’m not making this up. The general secretary of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers thinks that his members should be teaching children to walk:

A teachers’ union has suggested the national curriculum should be torn up and children taught life skills instead, such as how to walk.

The Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL) said children could learn a lot from walking because you need to adapt your technique according to your environment.

Speaking earlier this week, the acting deputy general secretary of the ATL, Martin Johnson, said: “There’s a lot to learn about how to walk. If you were going out for a Sunday afternoon stroll you might walk one way. If you’re trying to catch a train you might walk in another way and if you are doing a cliff walk you might walk in another way.

... and please let that ‘another way’ be straight over the edge, and spare us all!

Whilst there are certain life skills that teachers could be teaching, most children manage to pick up walking on their own, and to work out for themselves how to walk when strolling (slowly), catching a bus (more quickly), or walking along a cliff top (not too close to the edge—although there’s a certain Darwinian selection at play there).

Perhaps they are getting ahead of themselves, though: before progressing to advanced concepts like walking, they should start with the basics, like breathing and eating …