I haven’t updated in a week, for the simple reason that little of interest has happened to me. It’s been a particularly uneventful cycle of the daily grind.
As a compensation, here is the regular unpleasantness I have to tolerate every morning. This is my morning schedule. There are many others like it, but this one is mine:
|05:59||Alarm goes off; turn it off.|
|06:00||Second alarm goes off; hit snooze.|
|06:05||Second alarm goes off again; hit snooze again.|
|06:10||Second alarm goes off again; hit snooze again. Did I mention
that I’m not a morning person?
Repeat every five minutes until first stirrings of consciousness occur.
|06:20-06:30||Get out of bed, stumble down ladder from loft.
Set up and switch on coffee machine.
|06:35||Eat breakfast while reading news on internet and writing email at computer. Pause occasionally to wipe milk from screen, keyboard, and from where it is dribbling down my chin. That’s right: even after twenty-five years of practice, I still can’t use a spoon properly.|
|06:50||Dress and apply water/wax/gel to hair in vain attempt to tame voluminous asymmetrical morning bouffant.|
|07:00||Continue browsing internet.
Insert contact lenses into my sleep-encrusted eyes. This is a slow process due to the fact that I appear to have no conscious control over my left eyelid, which snaps shut just to spite me.
Restock bag with drink, snacks and tissues so that I can flagrantly breach Japanese etiquette by loudly blowing my nose on the train. On balance, blowing your nose is probably a lesser infraction than sneezing an ounce of mucus over surrounding passengers.
|07:15||Leave house in plenty of time to walk to the subway station.|
|07:20-07:25||Actually leave house, in a panic and at a sprint (really more of a flat-footed stumble).|
|07:30||Arrive at station, and try to get in front of the the
competition: the effluent of commuters being spewed out of the
Nankai station and, like me, heading for the 07:32 subway
Desperately search for seat on train. Sit down, close eyes and bury head in hands. Wait for world to stop spinning (caused by sleepiness and excessive exertion from running to the station), for psychotic feelings (anger and resentment at having to get up so ridiculously early) to subside and for sweat to dry.
|08:21||Reach final station after two changes of train (onto the crowded express train and back off onto another local train).|
|08:29’58”||Arrive at work. Congratulate self on economical use of time.|
I hate commuting. Who doesn’t? But the fact that I spend an extra fifteen hours a week in transit between home and work is really galling. I mean, that’s like an extra two days of work, without getting paid, and in cramped conditions that would enrage an animal rights advocate. We humans, however, don’t get humane standards of transportation. It’s just so wrong.