I hate TV Licensing

I hate the TV Licence.

Actually, I’m not opposed to a publicly-funded commercial-free broadcasting service in principle. I listen to BBC Radio, watch BBC TV—I even went to the BBC Backstage party last weekend! But I hate the TV Licence implementation.

It’s extremely regressive: a student flat of five people with individual locks will pay £657.50 a year (5 x £131.50), whilst a shared house pays only £131.50 regardless of the number of residents.

It’s a tax—they may call it a licence, but the National Statistics Office classifies it as a tax—collected by a private company using fear and intimidation. Those TV detector vans? Bullshit. No one has ever been convicted on the evidence of a detector van. They collect evidence by peeking through windows and conning their way into private residences to ‘check’. I say ‘conning’ because they have no right of entry, regardless of the legal nonsense they pepper their rude letters with.

It’s intrusive. Every time you buy a piece of TV equipment, you have to give your name, address and postcode to be passed on to TV Licensing. (I don’t fret over the privacy intrusion, though: if they want an address, let them have one. I like to use A. Blair, No. 11, SW1A 2AJ.)

And it’s wasteful. The price of a licence is set by the government anyway, who use the renegotiations as an opportunity to coerce the BBC. Given that the licence fee doesn’t give independence, why not just pay it from general taxation? At least, the burden would be distributed more fairly. However, they’d also be able to save the overhead of enforcement: all those uncivil letters and doorstepping heavies.

Yesterday evening, I came home to find a hand-delivered, crudely scrawled form in my letterbox, informing me that someone had called. Printed in heavy black letters on the top was ‘We said we’d call.’ I could almost hear the cod-Sicilian accent behind it.

Today, another letter came through the post, announcing itself unsubtly:

OFFICIAL WARNING – THIS PROPERTY IS UNLICENSED

Let’s pick it apart a bit:

You are hereby notified that we have authorised officers from our Enforcement Division to visit your home and interview you under caution, as our records show that there is still no TV Licence at this address and as yet we have received no response to previous communications from you.

‘Hereby’ ... ‘authorised’ ... ‘officers’ ... ‘Enforcement Division’ ... ‘interview you under caution’. What complete and utter bollocks! They can call their rent-a-thugs ‘officers’ and ‘authorise’ them all they like, but they are still just civilians with no more rights to barge into someone’s home and interview them than you or I. This language is a blatant attempt to misrepresent TVL employees as officers of the law. It probably even works on most people.

I feel it is my duty to inform you that if found guilty, you could receive a maximum fine of £1,000, and your name will be added to our National Enforcement Database. We take this offence very seriously and last month alone we caught 55,931 people.

‘National Enforcement Database’. That sounds scary, doesn’t it? What they don’t tell you is that you go onto their Database when you do buy a licence!

What about 55,931? That’s a very specific number. It’s also demonstrably garbage. Here’s a list of statistics I’ve seen in TVL communications:

Officers from our Enforcement Division catch 57,439 people every year.
Every day we catch around 1,000 evaders – you could be next.
We take this offence very seriously and last month alone we caught 55,931 people.

Normalising those numbers, we can see that they catch:

57,439 people each year
365,000 people each year
671,172 people each year

Yup, smells a bit rotten to me.

Anyway, here’s the rub: I’ve got a TV licence!

I bought it online some time ago, so there’s no excuse for it not to be in their database. The address is exactly the same both on the licence and in the missives they send me.

What more can I do? Milk it, of course. If they want to run around trying to catch me watching TV, let them. There could be a lot of fun to be had in this. I hope I’m in next time they call.

2006-12-13 22:33 UTC. Comments: 17.

Comments

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Luke Redpath

Wrote at 2006-12-14 11:29 UTC using Safari 419.3 on Mac OS X:
I too have no problem with the TV license but the company contracted to enforce the license has some serious issues. I’d be tempted to let them come round and then tell them where to go. They are just as bad as baliifs.
James Harvey

Wrote at 2007-02-05 22:28 UTC using Internet Explorer 7.0 on Windows XP:
See how your letters compare to those on here
www.bbctvlicence.com
grossimperator

Wrote at 2007-02-06 00:57 UTC using Firefox 1.5.0.9 on Windows XP:
Nice blog – I’ve found it with Google…
This TV-company seems to be similar to the German “GEZ – Gebuehreneinzugszentrale”. The methods are almost the same… visitations at the home door, pressure-exerting letters… you see – it’s not a national issue – it seems to be en European thing about television and tv-fees and taxes…
Best wishes from the European continent ;)
james

Wrote at 2007-04-23 10:33 UTC using Firefox 2.0.0.3 on Windows XP:
lol, you guys are idiots for getting a license, just dont answer the door and there’s nothing they can do other than send their bullshit letters
Defiant

Wrote at 2008-01-12 11:47 UTC using Firefox 2.0.0.11 on Windows 2000:
“Actually, I’m not opposed to a publicly-funded commercial-free broadcasting service in principle. I listen to BBC Radio, watch BBC TV”

Hypocrite comes to mind and liberal two faced looney. We all know how you enjoy forcing the majority to subsidise your entertainment.

Here’s an idea why not make it subscription and they YOU pay for it
dave h

Wrote at 2008-03-03 22:49 UTC using Internet Explorer 7.0 on Windows Vista:
er , why do we have to pay for watching junk anyway ?

why do we have to pay when we leave country for months at a time

why do we have to pay from when license last expired – we dont have to with car tax , insurance etc

government get a cut , bbc get a cut and the bastards who run the outfit (tvlicensing) get the rest .

if you complain to then about overcharging like when you move home , stay with someone then get a new home you are still charged through right to the end even in someone elses house who they have their own license .
you get no credit they dont listen and send you patronising letters back

i am going to buy a b/w tv and stick it in the front room – they cant do anything about that
PAUL

Wrote at 2008-06-24 13:15 UTC using Internet Explorer 7.0 on Windows XP:
The ‘authorised officers’ are nothing more than rent-a-cops they have NO POWERS what so ever. Just remember one thing when they say the caution to you. (YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING BUT IT MAY HARM YOUR DEFENSE, IF YOU DO NOT METION SOMTHING YOU LATER RELY ON IN COURT. ANYTHING YOU DO SAY MAY BE TAKEN DOWN AND USED AS EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU!) remember the you do not have to say anything. NO COMMENT NO COMMENT NO COMMENT…....
Also they should say that the interview is being conducted under PACE (POLICE AND CRIMINAL EVIDENCE ACT.) Ask the person for your free independant solicitor (which they have to pay for) and watch them start to s**t themselves. I know as i used to be one of them C***s. SORRY. Also DO NOT LET THEM INTO YOUR HOUSE!!!!! Heres some free advice for everybody the OLD ANALOGUE signals can be picked up by either the hand-held units or the van. BUT NEW DIGITAL CANT BE PICK UP WHAT SO EVER EVEN IF YOU USE AN OLD TV SET. The fact that they say it can be picked up is B******T cause nobody has even designed a way of picking up the digital signals (check out the patent office) I hope you like me have many years of free tv in the full knowledge of what the detecting equipment is really capable of.
kate

Wrote at 2008-06-25 19:32 UTC using Internet Explorer 7.0 on Windows XP:
please help! i just had one of those officers come around and hand me my caution even though i moved in a week ago and got my tv started up this afternoon i still was interviewed under caution. Do i now have a police record?!
Abolish TV Licence

Wrote at 2008-09-10 21:23 UTC using Firefox 3.0.1 on Windows Vista:
I`m also against the heavy handed tactics used to get people to get TV licenses. My gran didn`t have a TV, and despite filling in multiple forms stating as such she still had numerous visits from “inspectors” who simply didn`t believe somebody would`nt have one, and numerous threatening letters stating that license evasion was a crime.
moochy woochy

Wrote at 2008-12-14 09:41 UTC using Internet Explorer 7.0 on Windows Vista:
I dont pay for my license i enjoy ripping off the bbc bunch of idiots. There enforcement officers dont have any special powers to prove it I grabbed one by his ear and threw him down the stairs he wet his pants and cryed “mama mama!” and ran off as quick as he could needless to say I was cheered in the street from that day forward!
He also reported the incident to the police but instead of arresting me they gave me a trophy and came round to my gaffe to help me watch illegal tv.
Is it just me or does everyone hate the tv licensing people?
cooper

Wrote at 2009-07-05 11:38 UTC using Firefox 3.0.11 on Windows Vista:
i think either… they charge and encrypt it OR they just leave us the fuck alone! how can they tax us for receiving a freely distributed radio signal! its crazy!

i think everyone in the country should just stop paying… everyone at the same time just stop… they can’t do shit all to a whole country.
Gecko

Wrote at 2009-09-22 01:40 UTC using Chrome 3.0.195.21 on Windows NT:
Reading these threatening and downright sick letters is unbelievable, I haven’t paid my my BBC license in around 6 years, after being fed up of harassed and treated like a criminal, (back when i WAS actually paying the fees)

And i don’t feel bad, I feel happy to not be treated like a mug and stand up for myself

‘YOU ARE IN THE DATABASE’

haha!! don’t make me laugh, I’m tempted to call BBC up and have a right giggle at their blatant shock tactics and frankly shoddy database

Oh PS sky, I’m also using a linux set top box with a programmed card that gives me ALL of your channels for the grand old price of ZERO pence

What will you do?
A) (nothing)
die tv licensers

Wrote at 2009-12-02 20:07 UTC using Internet Explorer 8.0 on Windows XP:
just got caught…so anoyed and wen we ring they wont talk. why cant the bbc just use advertisements
Mr. Plow

Wrote at 2010-01-09 12:06 UTC using Firefox 3.5.7 on Windows XP:
I remember as a kid I used to love receiving mail, but these days all I ever get is my monthly threat from the Regional Enforcement Officer. The most recent one is headed “OFFICIAL WARNING: WE HAVE OPENED AN INVESTIGATION” in underlined red letters.

I have also noticed a nice little touch to the letter. There is a black line sectioning off the bottom of the letter with the sentence “Please do not write below this line”. I am puzzled at to why I should not write below this line, why they do not want me writing below the line, and also what the consequences will be if I do.

I do look forward to my visit from the officer assigned to this investigation, however I fear that he probably works the same sort of hours I do, and we will never get the chance to meet.
john

Wrote at 2010-01-12 02:02 UTC using Internet Explorer 6.0 on Windows XP:
I to think the licence (tax) should be abolished, its outdated. The way we watch tv has changed, pity the bbc hasnt. I havent ever had a tv as i refuse to pay for a service i dont use. Its anoying that this licence business stops us from using a reciever box for music channels (althought i have been informed you can use one with no licence). I have 10 years of letters from the tv licencing gimps and also had 2 visits when i was out.HA. i look forward to their next visit. they have been told i dont have a tv but they dont believe you and continue to treat you like a criminal. Finally, think of it this way, If you were told you had to pay a builder £100 per year by law just because he had a service to offer, would you pay it even though you dont use the builder?. I wish someone would make a law for me like that….id be minted by now.
Mr. Plow

Wrote at 2010-01-13 12:42 UTC using Firefox 3.5.7 on Windows XP:
I couldn’t agree more. It should be removed and have the BBC fund themselves through advertising. I read that they think license fees are the best way to fund TV as the viewer does not have the quality of the output affected by adverts. What of the other channels though? I might not watch the BBC at all, I could watch the other channels, get charged and still have to watch adverts.

To be hones garbage like Eastenders would be improved by an commercial break.
rosie

Wrote at 2010-03-05 16:51 UTC using Firefox 3.6 on Windows Vista:
i was take to court and fned £80 because i was told tat even thoug i used my tv only for computer games an they could see i ddnt even receive any signal through my areal i still had to go to court- tahts because i was foold enough to open the door to a stranegr and worse i invited him in when he asked to and worse still when he asked if I had bough he tv that day I was honest and said that had had it for a few weeks.
so they took me to court, i was surviving on benefits as i had a small child on my own and i was franticaly worried about being taken o court- it was in the newspapers and everything, my mum was livid- she said how culd ou not have a license? i try to tell people i just cant afford it- but how can I nlot have a tv when i cant afford to go out, and visist places etc- when ve got to stay in evening after evening, i want to be able to watch tv.
sincethose days ive wised up, i have tried t get a license but when the direct debit comes out of my bank i find it so crippling- its an extra bill and frankly it sends me over the edge- especially where food and energy and petrol keeps going up and up. so i cancelled my direct debit and have sent them a letter telling them i dnt have a tv. they write to me all the time but i just dont have that kind of money- they send me letters all the time- but i have discovered that whilst they are trying to get more money they are already way over what they need- they have so much surplus they dnt know what to do with it and have already spent thousands of pounds on wacky contemporary art work.